Paleo? Nutrition? Looking for/creating a community.

[0jack]

Anyone else doing paleo eating?  I'm not interested in being fanatical about it, or in losing weight, but there's a good chance it could be really good for my health. I have to be very careful about discussing this stuff due to my ED issues. While I'm working on my fitness level, I'm still a HAES advocate (Health At Every Size).

Is anyone interested in an "Alternative Eating" community? By which I mean all kinds of alternatives. I'm gluten free, allergic to soy, you name it. I'd love a community about adjusting to affordable, convenient alternatives that suit my diet.  Again, no weight loss, no preaching, just substitutions and short cuts and things that would make life easier. If there is one, great! If not, I'd be happy to do a community for it.

Comments

[rydra_wong]

Belatedly -- what do you feel makes a comm ED-safe? Things like discussions of weight and weight loss going behind a cut? I'd sort of like to raise the issue at playeatsleep.

[0jack]

Okay, so I've thought about this A LOT. I need to lose about 50# before I feel "right" in my body (it's no different to me than any other kind of body-centered dysphoria because it's not about the weight, it's because I don't feel like me, I feel like a fraud, etc.) and my girlfriend, whom I love, cannot bear ANY discussion of weight-loss or dieting, even to the point of struggling with talk of going gluten-free to prevent documented health problems. So, what the hell to do when one of us (who has a hx of ED and BDD) wants to talk about things around the other (who gets upset at the slightest discussion of weight issues)?

First, putting it behind a cut is the best general step for us--if it's talk about anything to do with controlling portions, comparing today's weight to yesterday's, it has to go behind the cut.

For some people, you can't mention the calorie count of a dish, or your weight. I think that's highly counterproductive, but that's where they're at. Because we're so socially trained to talk about weight and weightloss in certain value terms (I only lost 2# this week, this dish is naughty because it has 300cal/portion, I "will make up for it next week" because I had an ice cream cone), it's hard to control how people discuss their weight and weight loss unless you're in a group that has worked extensively on altering their relationship with food and weight. So. Cut Tags.

[0jack]

Some things that I think make stuff okay to post openly (or make it safe behind the cut):

* food is not the enemy or the problem, food brings us joy and energy, it is intellectually and emotionally stimulating, it is nurturing;

* discussing all food in positive terms--what good things the food does, how it tastes, how it makes you feel good, why you choose to eat it (other than the caloric content)--unless it tasted bad or made you sick, because it's okay to warn the tribe;

* calories can only be information, not good or bad, the same with the content of any other component of the food (unless it's POISON, in which case, maybe don't put that in);

* no comparisons: no comparing yourself to Miranda Cosgrove, the you of yesterday, the you of high school, the woman on the treadmill next to you, etc;

* no valuing people on their appearance alone; "There's the skinniest girl in my step class!" BZZZT! "This girl in my step class can do fifty repeats of this move and I think it's awesome that she's so dedicated." YAY!;

* like calories, weight is only information, not judgment. My trainer was shocked that I was upfront about weighing 215#. I don't see why I shouldn't be. It's my weight, not my human worth;

* none of this "real woman" talk--that shit has GOT to go.

I think that everyone should be encouraged to define and express their values, behind a cut. I think it's important that people with EDs relate this kind of thing openly. Part of EDs is shame and secrecy. Everyone should be encouraged to explore how they talk about weight. It really helped me when I started saying, "I feel like a failure for not weighing 120, even though I weigh 220, and my Dr thinks I shouldn't weigh under 150." People should also be encouraged to say exactly what they need: "I want to be able to report my weight without being congratulated for it."

Finally, I think ED-safety should be a goal, not a guarantee. I think those of us with EDs need to face our triggers in our own time, safely. It's probably helpful to provide a little tutorial on creating and bookmarking "weight-loss/fitness free" reading lists. I think we need to know that people can't read our minds and then we have to decide where we're at in terms of coming to read the community. If we do get triggered by something out front, it's good information for us, and it can be discussed or managed.

That's just my $0.02. This isn't an ED community, it's a fitness/lifestyle comm trying to be ED-friendly.